Monday Meditation

"No longer indispensable , no longer assured of our old carefully crafted identities, no longer beautiful in the way we were at twenty, or thirty, or forty, we are hungry and searching nonetheless.". 

Yesterday I finished this remarkable book.  It touched me on the deepest levels of my soulful yearning for the meaning of my past and the way to find  purpose in my future.  I am changed because of it.  From the first pages i sat reading with tears streaming down my cheeks.  Her loss of a dear friend cutting so deep into her that I felt the razors edge on my heart.  And then her journey seeking wholeness from a life so quickly changed. 

We all experience loss, disappointment, longing for purpose, with the little voice reminding us to stop for but just a moment.  Listen, see, hear and taste your life fully.  I cannot thank Katrina enough for this remarkable work of wisdom.  I am going to retread but this time with a highlighter.  

Monday Meditation

Found this image on Picturequ❤tes.com and it helped remind me that I am hanging on too tight right now. Work is a roller coaster which spreads its influence on my entire life.  I am not over the last cliff of layoffs just a few weeks ago and now new rumors are spreading.  Parent company selling part, parts, all....just uncertainty all around.  We wring our hands at the lunch table and wonder what the future holds.  The drama is deep in its second act and I am exhausted by the play.  Let the curtain fall and let me get on with this life for what I am doing now is surviving with the tips of my fingers clinging to the ledge.  

Today i declare this my new mantra.  I am going to open my grip on anxiety and let life flow.  I will dream of my husband stepping up after three years of unemployment.  I will find my way to sleeping through the night.  I will put my true life in front of me.  I will learn how to have a true life.  I will use my imagination.  I will put one foot in front of the other.  I will find a way to make the ends meet.  I will open up to possibilities yet undiscovered.  I will summon that will to make all happen.  With my new book Magical Journey, An Apprenticeship of Contentment, by Katrina Kenison to help me find my way, I can find my way through this and keep it as a new tool to build a life.  Like the sketch of our backyard garden and it's new layout, I will put pen to paper and draw the life plan so as to be whole.  Remember, "We aren't meant to be perfect, we are meant to whole." 

Here's to Monday and another week ahead where I will take a chance.  My girlfriend signed up for dancing lessons while confessing to be scared. I will follow her lead and stop lugging the class brochure around and finally enroll in the watercolor class.

Here goes that one foot......

Thanksgiving in August - Oh Yes I Did!

With grandchildren in the midwest with their father for weeks, their mother and her new husband struggling to hold their new marriage together, my younger daughter just busy busy busy - all gathered yesterday for a full on thanksgiving dinner.  

Have you ever tried to get a turkey in August?  Four stores and then back to Target to buy a far bigger turkey than I planned.  Thank you Target for coming through with the Butterball gobbler.  

All the trimmings - 

Aunt Jef potatoes.  Yes, I said Aunt Jef.  My sister's name is Jennifer but my mother dreamed up the nick-name Jef as she really didn't like Jenny.  These potatoes have been made for years; eight to ten boiled potatoes, a brick of cream cheese, a stick of butter, grated onions, a cup or so of scalded milk and a bit of salt and white pepper.   Mix them all in the Kithenaid mixer and heaven.  Bake.  

Stuffing - Mrs Cubbison's stuffing mix, a pound of Jimmy Dean sausage, chopped onion, celery, a stick of butter, 1 1/2 cup chicken broth.  Bake.  Oh Yeah Yum.  

Green bean casserole - this time made easy with a package of Trader Joe's haricot vert, cream of mushroom soup, French fried onions, a little milk and soy sauce....you know the drill.  Bake.

Mr B's gravy.  All i know is that I mix equal parts softened butter and flour s thickener and he seasons, stirs et voila!  Pour it over everything! 

Do not think of calories.  Do not think of fats.  Do not think of cholesterol.  Do not think.  Just enjoy the food, family and laughter.  A very happy gathering and all leaving with left over turkey. Did I say the turkey was bigger than I planned?  

Now I can't wait for November!